I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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