break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
