I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
