Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
