I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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