i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
