At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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