She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
