Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
