think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
