You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
