it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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