Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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