if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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