if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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