you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you had me at cake vodka
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
