i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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