i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
