I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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