My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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