I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
