I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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