cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
