well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
