i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
