btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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