No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
