she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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