I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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