so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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