you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
