i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
