STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
