So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
