yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
