We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
