Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
