I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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