omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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