I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
