He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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