I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
