Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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