just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
