Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
