Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The Olympian is in my bed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
