home. puking in laundry basket.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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