i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
