i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
