at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
