I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
