are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
