wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
